And a fresh sense of freedom.
Spring BREAK! Haha, spring break means more hours at work, and that is definitely a good thing. Spring break means getting more sleep, playing a few games, getting ahead on my homework for once. I have utterly demolished myself this semester with procrastination. It is no wonder that this past week has been a calamity of unfinished things. But for perhaps the millionth time in my life, and certainly not for the last, I say, "but now I'm going to change!" Now, I'm going to fix things, going to start fresh, get ahead, play the game before it plays me.
It is not for lack of ambition that I find myself in this position time and time again-nor indeed for lack of ability or potential. I have a complete lack of motivational skills. And even then, it's not for a lack of motivation-just the inability to be moved to action by it. Is it lazier still to think it may be a chemical deficiency? Am I just making excuses? A chronic lack of motivation due to a glitch in my brain, or am I just a true blue lazy asshole. We'll see.
It all depends on where I am in a week.
Drew says it is because I don't eat right. Well, I can't afford to eat at all most of the time, so what am I supposed to do about that? I guess just buck up and do it.
Again, I say-"This time will be different! This time I'll do better."
3.05.2010
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